New 2019 x For the Future You

It has been quite an interesting ride this past 2018. The highlight of it all: when both Ivan and I got the mail with the actual date to go to court and it read, amongst many things, the following: "Final appearance 12.13.18  at 9:00am" - I went back on reading the date a good three times-"Shut the F*** up!" I told him laughing and extremely weirded out! "what?!" he replied.  "Doesn't this date sound oddly familiar?" I asked. 
It was no surprise he had forgotten the day we had gotten married 12.13.14 but my facial expression to reading the mail, definitely made him think there was something off. "Ivan, we are getting divorced exactly four years to the day!" I said to him and to my surprise his reaction was: "I'll make sure to add  extra wake up alarm time that morning!" My mom was about to burst into tears, while he and I were laughing hysterically about our loving sarcasm for one another. 

We keep getting reminded of why we did this, why didn't we waited a bit longer, why didn't we think of Federico before finalizing our marriage and having him get adjusted to two homes now. Truthfully speaking, we did... A LOT  of thinking, two years to be exact.  A lot of "let's talk for a bit" happened, a lot of time apart happened, a lot of many things happened and we were not meeting eye to eye. He's has his life plan extremely rooted to the ground and I, on the other hand, have life goals and emerging new projects that might push me to go elsewhere in the near future. We were not growing as a couple but rather as individuals but strangely enough with a shit load of support. He has his point of view and I have mine, which we respect completely from one another even though I want to kill him half of the time (probably he does too). I think this is the best decision we both could have done. We are growing as a family that's divided BUT we are growing, we are not holding back on resentment, anger, or hate but instead lots of love, affection, and support. I, like many people, don't have the best example of divorced parents, and that's something I had to change for Federico.

On 12.13.18 we both saw how people in front of us, divorcing as well, were not speaking to one another. They were actually seated at different ends of the room, even a couple came in and walked out separately. We watched all this, holding hands and having my head on his shoulder. When it was our turn to walk up to the judge some of her exact words were the following: "You guys make such a good couple, I don't think I'll be able to do this, are you sure you want to do this?" YES! we both replied at the same time. " Do you have any kids?" She proceeded to ask, "Yes, one and he's the happiest of kids." I said. She signed the documents and we walked out of the room. Have we fought in the past??? OF COURSE! do we still argue? yes, but those are "leftover feelings" as I like to name them, that need to be solved on our own now, without having to drag one of us to sit down ONE. MORE. TIME. Did we go through all the denial, hate, ignoring, and the many phases of couples in the midst of pre-divorce?  Yes, yes and absolutely yes! It's definitely an uncomfortable phase that needs to be dealt with but overcome rapidly in order to move to a better state of wellbeing. 

 This is something that I will definitely look in the future and know we made the right decision.  Cheers to our ever-growing family. 
Los Amo Ivan y Federico. 

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